Two Weeks Out and I've Already Reorganized My Highlighters Twice

It's 9:47am and I have been sitting at this desk for forty-five minutes. In that time I have: made tea, let it go cold, opened three textbooks, closed two of them, and arranged my highlighters by color in a way that felt deeply necessary and was absolutely not. This is what AP prep looks like, apparently.

I have an exam in two weeks, two of them, actually, back to back, and I'm at that specific stage where I know I need to start properly but the starting feels so heavy that reorganizing things feels like a reasonable substitute. It's not. I know it's not. I'm going to drink the cold tea anyway and open the second textbook for real this time.

There's this thing that's been sitting in the back of my head since I overheard those two women outside the rec center last week, the ones joking about their adult kids having no idea what they're doing. I laughed to myself on the bench and then immediately felt seen in a way I didn't totally love. I've been doing some quiet looking-around lately. Not committing to anything. Just... looking. College websites, mostly. Some other stuff. Nothing I'm ready to write about yet.

For now: the notebook is open, the pen is uncapped, and the highlighters are staged and ready. That counts for something. Probably.