Forty Minutes There, Two Hours of Dark, Forty Minutes Back

The previews hadn't even started and I was already glad I came. That's the thing about a midnight screening, the decision to go is half the experience. You have to actually choose it, at like nine o'clock at night when the sensible thing is to stay home, and then you have to drive there in the cold with the radio up because otherwise you'll talk yourself out of it.

I went by myself, which felt strange for approximately four minutes and then didn't bother me at all. The theater wasn't packed, a midnight premiere on a Thursday in February pulls a specific kind of crowd, the people who actually cared, and I like that. No one was there by accident. We were all sitting in the dark on purpose. There's a version of community in that, even if you never say a word to anyone.

the screen right before it starts. the best two seconds of any movie.

The movie was everything I needed it to be. I won't say more than that because I'm still sitting with it, which is usually a good sign. I've had a lot of quiet weeks lately, submitting that creative writing piece, trying to figure out what this blog is supposed to be, noticing that I haven't run in what feels like months, and sometimes the right answer to all of that is just to drive somewhere dark and let someone else's story go for two hours.

2am. lobby empty. no regrets.

Got home around 2:15. The apartment was cold. I made toast and ate it standing at the counter and thought: I should do this more often. Not the late toast, though that too. The going. The deciding at nine pm that something is worth staying up for.