Everything Except My Legs

I got there early. I always get there early, some reflex I can't talk myself out of, so I had about four minutes to sit on a bench in the hallway and watch other people walk through the door first. A woman with a canvas tote. Two guys who seemed to know each other already. Someone who looked as unsure as I felt but walked in faster, which I respected. Then I went in.

I don't know exactly what I was expecting from the first meeting of a Creative Writing class. Something atmospheric, maybe. An assignment that felt like an invitation. What I got was a prompt, handwritten on the board, read aloud, that was so close to the thing I've been circling in that saved draft, the one I've been calling 'not for the blog,' that I actually looked around the room to see if anyone else had gone a little still. Nobody had. I wrote anyway. I filled the page. I don't know if any of it was any good and I'm not sure I want to think about that yet.

outside the door, not quite ready to go in

By the time I got home it was already after six. I changed shoes, the ankle boots for the running shoes, very glamorous transition, and went out before I could decide not to. The evening run has been mine for a few weeks now and I've stopped trying to justify it to anyone, including myself. What I noticed tonight was that somewhere around mile three, everything from the class, the prompt, the page I filled, the part of me that kept thinking is this too much, is this the wrong thing to put down, just kind of went quiet. My legs don't ask those questions. They just go. I timed myself when I got back, not for speed, just to have a number. 41 minutes. Fastest I've logged.

somewhere around mile three, the day started to make more sense

So that was my first day of creative writing: one classroom, one prompt that knew too much about me, and then six miles in the dark getting my head back. I don't have a tidy ending for this. Some days don't have one. I'll be back in that classroom on Tuesday and I think that's the whole answer for now.