The lid was right there

Carmen came over to use the blender. That’s it. That’s the whole premise. We’ve been doing post-run smoothies at the apartment since spring and not once — not one single time — has anything gone wrong. Today Carmen put the lid on crooked and hit the highest setting and we learned exactly how far a blender can fling a strawberry-beet smoothie in a galley kitchen.

The lid was right there

The answer, for reference, is: everywhere. Counter. Backsplash. Carmen’s shirt. The small ceramic dish Jake keeps his keys in. I was standing literally three feet away and somehow emerged completely clean, which Carmen has pointed out twice now is deeply suspicious. I grabbed my phone before I grabbed a paper towel. I am not ashamed of this choice. The photo evidence is extraordinary.

she is barely helping and we both know it

We spent twenty minutes cleaning up — or I held paper towels and laughed while Carmen did most of the actual work, which is more or less the same thing. Her shirt is a loss. The kitchen smells amazing, actually. And I’ve been on a good streak with this archive project lately, deep in coordination emails and preservation spreadsheets, so honestly a full smoothie detonation mid-Thursday afternoon was exactly the reset I didn’t know I needed. Carmen is never allowed to use the blender unsupervised again. She fully agrees.